Friday, July 9, 2010


Last week I babysat for two 10-year-old boys who challenged me to a basketball game. I happily agreed because I use to play and I enjoy the sport. I have learned though in most cases it's best to just let the youngsters win, that way you don't have to deal with any sore losers. So, we're playing two on one - them against me. I make a few shots, they make a few. All is well. Then one boy starts some major taunting. I let it slide for a little bit, I mean, whatever he's just a kid and having fun. But then it escalates and any time he makes a basket he runs up to me and before giving me the ball says with a glare in his eye, "We're smoking you, you giiiiiiirl."

Well, that was it. I decided to go all "Billy-Madison-dodgeball-scene" on him. I started throwing elbows (gentle ones) and stuffing their shots. I'm a terrible person. I started to feel bad so I let them win by one.

Here is what I've observed to be popular with the youth of today
1) Rummage through babysitter's purses. Once they find a camera, they like to either take lots of pictures of themselves or demand the babysitter tapes them as they make dance routines to Selena Gomez songs.
2) Say their parents would let them do stuff that clearly their parents wouldn't actually let them do. "My mom says that if we're listening to music with swears we're allowed to swear too." What?
3) Taunt the babysitter during games with lines such as, "I'm gonna smoke you." Whatever, kid. You weigh like 60 pounds and are half my height. (see above story)
4) Refer to their farts as "toots".
5) Act either extremely shy or extremely crazy when their parents around. Why can't you just be even keeled and not hide behind your mom's leg like you're scared of me especially since I know the second they leave you're going to be begging me to give you piggyback rides?
6) Call dibs on either being the 16-year-old girl or the dog whenever we play house.
7) Refuse to believe me when I attempt to communicate with them that eating 6 ice cream sandwiches 10 minutes before they go to bed just isn't a good idea. Trust me. I know from experience.

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