WHY aren't these things real???

James and the Giant Peach

James and the Giant Peach holds a special place in my heart. And Tim Burton's film creation is just as wondrous. Living inside a peach would be gross, but Roald Dahl makes it seem enticing. I wish I could meet a bunch of friendly insects who play the violin and such, and I wish I could fly, via a piece of fruit, to NYC. I remember always hating James' aunts and I wanted to punch them in the nose for being so mean to lil Jamesy poo. Aunt Spiker (the one with the severe cheekbones) frightened me. And rightfully so. She looked like an anorexic clown and she whipped James with a belt!!! Aunt Sponge however was never quite as threatening. She was like a plump rollie pollie.

Harry Potter

I know I am probably the 5 millionth person to be stating that I wish Hogwarts was real. But I DO! I truly believe that I could just fit right in with the bunch. Hermione and I could study together, Ron and I could make out and tell jokes, and Harry and I could play quidditch. The four of us would travel to Three Broomsticks and drink butterbeer all day. And then we'd sit in the common room area by the fire and, and, and we'd just do EVERYTHING! The way I feel when I read HP books is ineffable. It is the numero uno book at making me feel like I live in another world. Dear Harry, Ron, and Hermione, if you are real, come find me. I will leave behind the life I live if it means I get to be your pal and live in your magical world. Contact me via Hedwig please. Or just use floo powder and show up in my family room. Either one will make me pee my pants. (Sidenote: this is my favorite HP bookcover. The colors, the prancing unicorn, the whimsical purple and orange sherbert sky, the two lit windows in Hogwarts... I love it all!)

Clouds

Ok well obviously I know clouds are real, but the whole jumping on them...not so much. But they should be bouncy. They should be just like trampolines, and they should smell like candy, and they should have complimentary milkshakes with whipped cream every time you went on them, and you should definitely be able to jump from cloud to cloud. When I was little I was convinced that the aforementioned actually happened, but just not until you went to heaven and became an angel. Last year when I took a weather and climate class and we talked about clouds and how they are just vapor, I wanted to standup and shout at the professor, "You're wrong!!! You're wrong!!!" But I never did.